Why do bad things happen to good people??

First of all, this post below was taken from a friend's blog...She and her family have faced some extremely difficult trials the last fews months. If you are interested in the full story you can go to their blog. A quick wrap up... Mandy and Ryan Shaw's little boy Dylan was diagnosed with a Brain Stem Glioma -an inoperable brain tumor. He was diagnosed the beginning of March 2011 and on July 12, 2011 he returned home to his Heavenly Father.

This blog is in honor of his life. It was a place for their families to leave updates, messages, testimonies etc..

I have felt the promptings to post this segment for quite a few weeks now. I don't know why... but I think it can bring hope and peace to all of us. It is full of faith and comfort during stints of horrible pain, confusion and loneliness. I didn't know Dylan personally. I was involved with a fundraiser for him and had a chance to see the whole Shaw Family then. But that was my only interaction with them. However, though this blog I have felt close to them and it too has increased my faith in the Lord. Maybe it will do the same for you..... This is by the father Ryan a few days after Dylan had passed.

My Friend, My Mentor, My Son

I sit here alone in our quiet house, my kids off playing with cousins and my wife out doing some last minute preparations for this weekend and my thoughts are consumed by my son, Dylan. What a truly amazing kid he was. He was so thoughtful and kind to others. He always wanted to make sure everyone was included and not left out of anything or felt bad. He went out of his way to say 'hi' to people as they came into the room and truly loved everyone, in fact I can't remember him ever speaking ill of anyone (even the bullies at school that would tease and pick on him). This week has been the hardest, by far, of my life and I laugh when I look back and think of times when I 'thought' I was having it hard like going to school or struggling on my mission. Those challenges pale in comparison to what we have faced this week. Watching Dylan decline so rapidly over the last four months was the single most trying thing as a father I could have possibly witnessed. Knowing I could physically do nothing to take away his pain or suffering literally broke my heart and often my spirit. We fasted and prayed and gave him blessings to try and ease his pain and to ask for a miracle and yet that miracle never came (at least not in the form we wanted). I had to stand by and watch his 9 year old body deteriorate before my eyes and all the modern medicines and alternative treatments we tried couldn't stop that ugly tumor wrapped inside his brain stem. How I wished I could reach inside and rip that wicked growth out of him or transplant it into my own brain stem as I would have gladly and willingly gave my life for his. But that was not my course in life. Mine is to remain behind and shepherd my other children through this life. Dylan's was to come to Earth, gain a body and fulfill his earthly mission and return home to his Heavenly Father having done all that was asked of him albeit after a very short time. And while I will miss him terribly every day for the rest of my life and would literally do anything to have him back with me as a healthy boy, I can draw strength from the knowledge that there is a plan for all of us that is bigger than we can imagine. There is a work for us all to do and while we are bound with earthly perspective, we cannot fully comprehend what that work fully entails and often the way seems impassable and strewn with thick branches and thorns. I know that when we are able to look back on this earthy experience but do so with an eternal perspective, all things will become clear and the size and scope of our mission will be brought into focus and we will be amazed and what we accomplished and how many 'coincidences' shaped our paths and how often our father truly intervened when we felt lost or hopeless.

Many People have asked why God would let this happen. Why couldn't he, the omnipotent ruler of the Universe, reach down his hand and take it away? The very simple answer is: He could but he won't. And the reason being is, if he did he would forfeit the very plan that we chose to be apart of. If he intervened at every difficult or painful crossroad and spared us every moment of grief and pain in this life, then we would not learn to walk by faith. We would have no need of the atonement because all our painful decisions and paths would be protected and chosen by our Father in Heaven and our free agency would be rendered useless. We MUST pass through the trials of life to gain experience and wisdom and learn true Christlike love for our fellow man and render selfless service to those around us. This is our purpose on Earth; to love and serve one another and to bear each others' burdens and obey our God's commandments and prove ourselves herewith to see whichever way we should go. I am so proud and honored to be Dylan's dad and he has taught me more in the last four months about being good and faithfully enduring to the end than I have learned in the previous 36 years of my life. He is an amazing example of the pure love of Christ and the charity that is required of us. He gained so much pleasure in doing good for others and constantly worried about those that were going through their own trials (unfortunately too many of them were also affected by cancer). He loved life, he loved to laugh and make jokes and do stand up routines for people (he was pretty good at Brian Reagan). He genuinely cared for people and did more to affect people's lives in his 9 years on earth than I probably will be able to in the remainder of my time here. So many people have sent their concerns and condolences and a common theme in their messages is how much Dylan has changed their lives and how they want to do better because of him. You cannot imagine how proud this makes me as a father! My son having that much positive influence on the world is more gratifying that any other accomplishment I can think of. I can truly and honestly say that Dylan left this world better than he found it and not everyone can say that. His memory will live on in the works and lives of those left behind. My hope is for that memory to never fade, that we may always remember him and his life and his example and that in a year from now, when the pain subsides and the freshness of this experience is gone, that we all don't go back to 'the way things were'. I hope his example stands as a beacon for us all to strive to do better, to be better, to love better, to live better.

I will never feel fully worthy of having Dylan as my son but I feel privileged to have been chosen. We will forever be linked by the earthly bond and the heart of a father has truly been turned to the children. He taught me more than I ever taught him and I will forever be grateful to him for that. He has set the standard now that I must live up to and strive to become more like him. He will forever be my inspiration and guidance through this world. He truly and simply is my friend, my mentor and I'm so proud to call him my son!

I cannot thank you all enough for the heartfelt wishes of hope and support and pray God will bless you all for your acts of kindness on our behalf and pour his love and spirit upon you all!

Ryan-the Dad

Run....

Sorry!

So it's been almost a year since I last posted anything! A lot and absolutely nothing has happened this last year.. weird how that happens! A few little updates....

1- I've been going to school the last year. I love school. I don't love going to class but I absolutely love learning. I love the mental stimulation. I'm not quite sure why I complain about having to go to school because I really do love it and I love my major. I'm currently majoring in Family Consumer Human Development. I'm planning on getting a Master's in therapy and I would really love to work with individuals and families dealing with cancer. So that's the plan, we'll see what happens.

2-I have been working at a dance studio in Logan called Dance Illusion. I managed the office which included financial responsibilities, time cards, student's accounts, etc. This last year I taught 3 classes. Jr. Prep which is 1 of the 5 groups that competes. They range in ages from 10-14. We placed 1st, 2nd and 3rd through out our 3 competitions! 7-9 Ballet and Jazz- They are the cutest girls. I have had some of them for 2 years now and love them to pieces! Last class- Senior Company B- This is the oldest and most advanced of the groups at Dance Illusion. They also competed. They were so fun and I love teaching that class.

3- This January I started to become very restless with my life. I felt as if I was floating along with no direction. I was very unhappy and very lonely. I started to really think about where I was in my life and where I needed to be. I have horrible anxiety and it was really starting to peek. Thats when I really started to pray. I decided I was going to turn it over to the Lord and let whatever happen, happen.

I started thinking about Salt Lake a lot. But I didn't really know how that would be possible. I didn't know how to go about transferring credits. I didn't know if the University of Utah even had my major or if my credits would transfer. I had no idea about housing and roommates and all of that. There were just a lot of variables I have no idea about.

About a week later a friend of mine Samantha and I were in class, when her phone went off and she walked out of class. When she came back I asked her if everything was okay and she said "Yeah, I'm moving to Salt Lake in the fall and that was the registrars office letting me know about transferring my credits" I immediately responded, "oh my gosh, I wanna move to salt lake this fall too!" she said, "Do you have a roommate yet!? Can we be friends?" I pretty much yelled in the middle of class "YES! oh my gosh YES!" Both of us were so excited and the anxiety drained out of both of us. I kept telling her how relieved I was and that I had no idea how moving to Salt Lake was going to happen and she said the exact same thing. Needless to say, we spent the rest of the class looking up housing in Salt Lake. She helped me request a transcript and get my credits send. Things truly have fallen into place. The University of Utah HAS my major and the master's I want to get and ALL of my credits are transferring which is pretty much a miracle in it self!

I knew it was right. I still know it is right and I am more than ecstatic about moving. My contract at my apartment ends at the beginning of August and I am pretty much counting down the days! I have loved living in Logan. It has been a great place to grow up but it is time for a new adventure, a new chapter!

So there is a little update about what is going on with me! Hope this finds everything happy and healthy!